Falkland Islands Deployment

News today: Snow, snow, and more snow. We went out to sea earlier in the week, for 3 days of well, just war practice really. Basically, we pretended there was lots of enemies about, shot at them, prentended we were being shot at, and got hit by 7 or 8 imaginary missiles, and as a result had to fight a whole load of imaginary fires, floods and other damage... using our imagination. Simple eh? Well, it's easy for us, because this ship has a love of doing these exercises. It's what we get up to almost every time we're away from portsmouth for a few days. I'd say we're pretty good at it. I mean, we must be- we always win!!?


While we were out though, the sea was horrible and choppy, sleeping was a nightmare because of that, and the fact we were running an 8 hour on, 8 hour off routine to maintain our fighting stance... And a few nameless people snoring like a tractor ploughing in the height of harvest season...



The snow came down in a blizzard, so strong that the ship was 'snowed out' of port and we had to go to anchor for the night, and return alongside in the morning! -Don't ask me how the snow affected the ship coming alongside- but it did! Even when we got in in the morning, we couldn't go anywhere, we were snowed in until the roads got ploughed- and when we eventually did get out, we found that all fresh water in MPA had ceased- or frozen presumably- which meant they closed the bar, closed the gym... and the internet suite went down, leaving just the cinema... but having paid for a ticket to watch 'Angels & Demons', the film projector went bust at the start of the film! So it's been a pretty horrendous week.


Today there was still a lot of snow on the ground, but Me, Sid and Olly hired out the bikes again to start our wildlife expedition to see everything the island could offer... we anticipated great things, so armed ourselves with camcorders, cameras and thermal clothing.



We saw a vulture, a sheep, and a gull. Here's the vultures hanging out on an old bunker...



When we got back, we did somehow conclude that our first expedition was successful. I'm not sure how, maybe by the previous week's standards it was! Below is a photo of a naughty boy's hut... one can only presume they were expecting us to turn up. It seems our quest for wildlife is not going too well so far... but not to worry, we are in the process of acquiring a few contacts, a landrover, a helicopter and an island, so very shortly, the creators of "planet Earth" will be eating their hearts out when they see our next creation....! (Well... we'll see about that)





Now, when we got into the falklands, a 5 aside football knockout tournament was planned for most evenings- it was an inter-mess affair, with the big messes entering 2 teams... a total of 16 teams taking part. I was in 3S's "Poo-shoot Posse" (I didn't choose the name). Now, You need to realise that sport in the military is taken VERY seriously. I mean, even if it was just an egg-and-spoon race, you would undoubtedly still have a huge crowd, and tacticians plotting each team's best form of attack... it is in my opinion, the best part about military life- you're guaranteed a decent game, no matter what the sport is! So when football comes up, the crowd will get as animated as in a stadium, and pre and post match banter/antics are just the same too! So it was fitting then, that Poo Shoot Posse, having sailed through the first round, demolished the chief's mess 12-2 in the quarters, and just edged the wardroom (officers) 8-7 in the semis, went into the final fired up by some verbal confrontations from the previous night... but this was no ordinary final- seeing the chiefs and officers off in the previous rounds was satisfying enough, but the prospect of the 2 biggest messes onboard clashing head-to-head in the final in what promised to be an epic blood-bath of 40 minutes, was too much to resist, even for the captain! This was 3R mess Vs 3S mess, aka The warfare mess Vs the Stokers' mess! There must have been near enough 40 people sat on the wall, with the whole gym behind them also paying attention... And so Me and Nath, the 2 everpresents throughout the tournament, lined up alongside Horse (who knocked 13 goals in 3 games), Little Kev, and Asbo in goal. It was a very timid start with both teams scared to give anything away, but it was 3R who took the lead.



Above: Doug eyes up a pass to Kev with 3R closing down quick, but is Doug too concerned about his recently discovered bald patch? Later on he displays some Le Tissier-like skill to out-fox 3 opposition defenders...


Horse levelled quickly to reach half time at 1-1. In the second half, it was they who went 2-1 up, until I hit a thunderbolt from the half way line, dislodging the goal frame as the ball mutilated the post on it's way into the net. Goal of the tournament without a shadow of a doubt (not my words). That obviously dented the composure of 3R, who, although they scored again, couldn't stop Horse from hitting a winner in the final minute, to secure a 4-3 triumph! The final whistle was mental- barely had it blown and I was being hugged by the MEO (I've never met someone so proud in my life!), the stokers came on to congratulate us too, as brave 3R were close to tears in defeat...


After that, the boss (MEO- stands for Marine Engineering Officer- runs the marine-engineering department) bought us several rounds at the bar and told us stories of his experiences in the falklands in 82, and the party went on all night! A presentation of the trophy by the captain will be taking place shortly...

Left to right: Asbo, Little Kev (the doc), Me, Horse, Nath


Meanwhile, back at work, our mess sport's rep came up with a great plan to build morale- ask everyone what sport they'd like to have for a Senior rates (management) Vs Junior rates (the stokers mess basically) showdown... I say it was a great way to build morale, you'll see why if you look closely at the photo below! This sheet has been on the noticeboard a week now, and has been a great source of amusement for the whole department! ...but with a bit of luck, hopefully we'll get another football tournament out of it! (click on it to enlarge it)





That's all there is to report from the last 2 weeks out here in the cold. I've immediately had my regrets, like the lack of a landrover license... you need one of these to go anywhere else other than MPA. And the lack of walking boots- that is a MUST out here. But I will make amends in due course, and hopefully that will allow for some healthy "bloggage updatage"! These last photos are a couple more scenes from the last week here.